Homoerotic Friday (Billy Idol)

Other places have “casual dress” days to end the week. Or maybe “funny hats”, or “get drunk after work”. Not us. We prefer to maintain dignity, formality and sobriety and take our solace in a good old fashioned side of beef. Hubba hubba !!!!

This entry was first submitted by Tenacious S and a couple of days later, independently, Chris from Inane Thoughts and Ramblings seconded the motion to feature the man flesh of Billy Idol. Motion passed !!!!

It’s a nice day for a black codpiece

Billy Joel’s Christmas Cake Recipe

Ingredients:

10 oz currants
6 oz sultanas
6 oz raisins
3 oz dark natural glace cherries
3oz mixed chopped peel - Cut your own or use ready cut
Grated rind of 1 lemon
Grated rind of 1 orange
1 Bottle of whisky, rum or sherry
1 Tray ice
4 eggs - room temperature
6 oz butter - room temperature
6 oz soft brown sugar (or caster sugar if you have none)
3 ½ oz of self raising flour (use all plain if you have no SR flour, this cake is not intended to rise, but be level.)
3 ½ oz of plain flour
2 oz ground almonds
1½ teaspoons of mixed spice (this should contain cloves, cinnamon etc)
1 tablespoon golden syrup or corn syrup
Optional 2oz walnuts or blanched almonds chopped.
Optional 2 oz chopped dried apricots

Instructions:

1. Put ice into a tumbler
2. Pour four ounces of whiskey, rum or sherry into the tumbler
3. Drink. Repeat as necessary.
4. Munch on the nuts and raisins (optional).
5. Get the maid to put the rest of the shit back in the cupboard.

 

Homoerotic Friday (Vince Neil)

Woo hoo !!! Thank God it’s Friday !!! Around these parts Friday is the day when we celebrate the men of rock. The 110% straight men of rock. Men’s men.

Here’s another beauty from Tenacious S. I’ve still got a lot of entries that weren’t accepted into the great homoerotic photo contest but at the moment I’m just too lazy to write up explanations of why they didn’t make the cut. As always, we welcome submissions from everywhere…. (see guidelines here).

Ladies and Gentleman, one of the great vocalists of our age, super-stud Vince Neil:

“Coffee, tea, or me?”

The Bong Remains the Same: Reunion Retrospective

Evil Genius chided me for remaining silent on the Led Zeppelin reunion everyone’s talking about. Truthfully, it’s because a couple of months ago I wrote a five part Zeppelin epic, essentially squeezing the Zeppelin lemon until the juice ran down my leg. But for those of you who weren’t on board for the epic (or dare to work your way through it again), here it is in in all its glory:

Chapter 1: Sticks of Thunder

Chapter 2: Bringer of the Rumble

Chapter 3: An Axe With Two Handles

Chapter 4: A Golden God

Chapter 5: Finale

A Don Henley Christmas: The Great Man Sends a Letter

Dear All,

I’m writing this to wish you, my friends and family a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holiday.

That’s right, if you’re the type of schmuck who can sit around drinking mulled wine and eating chocolate mints while our planet goes to hell, go right ahead but plan on celebrating without me this year. Really, what does anyone have to be happy about? Despite the best efforts of my own Walden Woods Project, Americans remain a bunch of greedy, self-obsessed assholes who are slowly flushing our planet down the toilet like the excreted remnants of a Taco Bell dinner. Way back in 1976 I wrote a little song called “Hotel California” about what a consumptive trap our culture is. Did anyone listen? Not a chance. All I’d ever hear is “wicked guitar solo, bro” or “is colitas weed, dude?”. I’ve spent my life throwing pearls to stoned-out swine. Maybe I’d do better if I wrote the message on a bong.

I don’t want to call myself a prophet, but maybe you remember “Dirty Laundry”? The only substantial thing on the radio in 1982? Way back then, who could have foreseen how obsessed with dirt our media would get ? I’ll tell you who….ME !!!! But did anyone heed my warning? No, they were too busy “Doin’ the Neutron Dance”. Well, now wallow in the filth you created, piggies. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Don’t even get me started on the music business. What a bunch of shit fills the airwaves these days. Where are the simple melodies, four part harmonies and easy country rhythms that are the mark of real music? Rap? I don’t get it… Grunge? Give me a fucking break. If any of those goatee sportin’ creeps want a lesson in music, I’ll give them one, and it’ll come in the form of a Gucci loafer in their ass.

Get it together, people. And happy holidays.

Best of my love,

Don

p.s. Mom: the locksmith is coming to change the locks on my Malibu place on Wednesday. I expect you to leave your keys in the mailbox and be gone by the time they get there. Merry Christmas, freeloading hag.

Homoerotic Friday (Rod Stewart)

Well howdy everyone, and welcome to the first Homoerotic Friday. We’ll be using some of the leftovers from the great homoerotic photo contest, and also accepting new submissions (see guidelines here), so hit us with your best shot.

To give you some idea of why Tenacious S ran away with the contest, here’s one of hers that didn’t make the cut.

“Wake up Marvin, I think I got something to say to you“

Dear Dave

David Lee Roth answers your questions on life, love and the pursuit of happiness.

Dear Dave:

To say I have a problem meeting women is the understatement of the year. To begin with, I’m not that great looking. I mean, I’m not some disfigured ogre or anything, but I just don’t seem to get noticed. And when I do actually get a woman’s attention, I freeze up and start stammering. It’s gotten to the point where I feel dizzy and break into a sweat when I even think of talking to somebody of the opposite sex. Needless to say, I’m a virgin. In fact, I’ve only had one hug that wasn’t from a relative. Sometimes I think I must be the loneliest person on the face of the earth. I just want to meet somebody nice, she doesn’t have to be a supermodel. How do I do this, Dave? I need your help.

-All alone in Sturgeon Bay

Dear All Alone:

“My personal record is five chicks at once, in Nashville. They were all doing each other on the bed, and everybody was arrayed around the bed. We were making video…and I was directing. It was so beyond the pale that all I could think of to do was play like volleyball and go, ‘Okay, change !’ And all the girls would shift. And in a moment of inspiration, I ran off to my room with two of them, and said, “I wanna be with both of you, ” and they sat bolt upright, and said, “But we’re sisters”.

The Moral: Dude, can’t you see I’m busy?

*******

 

Thanks to Patrick Hillman for the photo.

And the Winner Is…….

Wow, it’s been a wild two weeks. Hard to believe our Homoerotic Photo Contest is finally coming to a close.

There were so many great entries. You couldn’t help but feel pierced by Ted Nugent’s arrow when viewing Splotchy’s entry. Patrick Hillman’s Sting picture could keep going all night and still have time to save the world in the morning. And Pigeon Kicking’s Tommy Lee entry? Twelve inches of magic.

But there can only be one winner. And that, loyal readers, is Tenacious S.

How’d she do it? Volume. She lodged four strong entries in the contest (see here, here, here and here) and that was only because I limited her to make room for everyone else. Some of the strongest stuff submitted ended up on the cutting room floor. The good news is that you will get to see it in the coming weeks as we will be starting a new feature: get ready for “Homoerotic Fridays”. Entries will be accepted for this new feature, with the same rules as the contest. The first installment may be some of the entries that were disqualified (in case some of you wonder where your entries went).

As for Tenacious S, she will receive a copy of Anandamide’s seal of approval (the picture you see at the top of this post). She can either post it on her blog, shrink it down to decorate her sidebar, or simply throw it away. She’s earned the right to choose.

Thanks for all the great entries everyone.