Anandamide Patron Saint: Meat Loaf

meatloaf-paradise-ellenfoley1978l.jpg

Until further notice, Anandamide’s patron saint is Meat Loaf.

Claims to Sainthood:

-He wants you, he needs you. But there ain’t no way he’s ever going to love you.

-Sang “Hot Patootie” in the Rocky Horror picture show, then got killed and eaten, inspiring audiences to yell “if it bounces, it’s Meat Loaf !!!”

-Once allowed a Volkswagen to roll over his head on a dare.

-Normally served warm as part of the main course, but can also be sliced and served as a cold cut.

Patron Saint of:

-Teenagers who are “doubly blessed”.

-Men with “bitch tits”.

-Couples who made promises in a frenzy of teenage passion and who are now “praying for the end of time”.

-High school football stars from the late ’70s who’ve been working in anonymity at the local feed mill for the last twenty years but who want to stage a comeback: “State championship II: Back to State”.

-Anyone who is trying to resist the temptation to do “that” for love.  Meat Loaf stood firm, so can you.**

-Anandamide

**thanks to Patrick Hillman for being the first to point this omission out.

Published in: on October 5, 2007 at 7:18 am

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21 Comments Leave a comment.

  1. On October 5, 2007 at 8:14 am Patrick Hillman Said:

    He’s also the patron saint of those who’ll do ANYTHING for love (except *THAT*) — and God knows we all have our own ideas of what THAT is.

  2. On October 5, 2007 at 9:41 am UF Mike Said:

    That volkswagen over the head trick is nice. My old pal Kevin Harrison supposedly had a car ran over his head when he was a teensy weensy child. Legend has it he made the Johnstown PA papers as the “rubber-headed baby.” Kev later owned a Karman Ghia but smashed it up real good. I’m going on, aren’t I? I’ll shut up now. Long Live Meat Loaf!

  3. On October 5, 2007 at 11:17 am anandamide Said:

    Hillman: as one of my strongest supporters, you have the advantage of being the first to make an “I would do anything for love” comment. The post has been duly changed…..

    UF: God, what I’d give to have been a famous rubber-head baby…..

  4. On October 5, 2007 at 3:19 pm Grant Miller, Esq. Said:

    I totally thought I saw Meatloaf once in Chicago. Looked like him, was surrounded by a throng of people, etc.

    It wasn’t him. It was like Steve McMichael or someone.

  5. On October 5, 2007 at 3:56 pm prunella jones Said:

    As far as cheesy seventies rock stars go, Meatloaf is pretty cool. He’ll always be Eddie to me, but I did think his breasts were lovely in Fight Club.

  6. On October 5, 2007 at 6:40 pm Evil Genius Said:

    Don’t like him. Well, maybe as Bob, but that’s it.

  7. On October 5, 2007 at 8:02 pm Elizabeth Said:

    I dare any man to waive a scarf the way Meatloaf can. Well, Jack Black maybe, but Meatloaf was his inspiration.

  8. On October 5, 2007 at 8:31 pm Bubs Said:

    That picture is awesome. That is possible the most powerful rockstar picture ever.

  9. On October 6, 2007 at 10:58 am anandamide Said:

    Grant: There’s another guy out there who looks just like Meat Loaf?

    Prunella: Cheesy Meatloaf…mmmmm

    Evil Genius: You may continue directing your prayers to Sib Hashian or Ace Frehley if you wish…

  10. On October 6, 2007 at 10:59 am anandamide Said:

    Elizabeth: ….which brings to mind another scarf waver supreme -> Steven Tyler, so far untouched by this website. We’ll see if it remains that way.

    Bubs: It does sort of throw the fear of God into you, doesn’t it?

  11. On October 6, 2007 at 5:57 pm Captain Smack Said:

    I can dig Meatloaf as a Patron Saint. “Paradise by the Dashboard Lights” is one of the coolest songs ever. When I was a little kid I used to play that song and totally act out the parts. Hey, bit of trivia (which may or may not be true): In the studio version of that song, the female vocals were by that chick from Night Court, the blond one who had a stick up her butt.

    All together now:
    His name was Robert Paulson. His name was Robert Paulson. His name was Robert Paulson…

  12. On October 6, 2007 at 10:14 pm Evil Genius Said:

    Is it permissible to pray to Krom?

  13. On October 7, 2007 at 9:58 am Chris Said:

    I think I like this entry, but let me sleep on it.

  14. On October 7, 2007 at 11:49 am CP Said:

    I too wanted to know what “that” was. Is it really up for interpretation? I want answers, not more questions!

  15. On October 7, 2007 at 1:33 pm anandamide Said:

    Captain Smack: Ummm…I put that Night Court one with the Rod Stewart stomach-pump story (which also may or may not be true)

    Evil Genius: Had to look that one up. Glad I did.

    Chris: I GOTTA KNOW RIGHT NOW !!!!!

    Punchman: It’s a little like eating an apple from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Once you know what “that” is, you can never re-gain your lost innocence. Meat Loaf is protecting you….

  16. On October 8, 2007 at 9:14 am cleek Said:

    FYI, wiki confirms the Night Court link.

  17. On October 8, 2007 at 10:55 am STEVE Said:

    You know he is actually a Vaudville act and when you crack him in half, Alice Cooper and Todd Rungren pop out.

  18. On October 8, 2007 at 4:02 pm anandamide Said:

    Cleek: Where? Are we talking about Markie Post?
    and btw, does the length and detail of that Wikipedia post not seem somewhat out of keeping with Meat Loaf’s artistic stature?

    Steve: probably because he ate them.

  19. On October 8, 2007 at 5:27 pm Elizabeth Said:

    Cleek is referring to Ellen Foley.

  20. On October 8, 2007 at 8:18 pm Dale Said:

    For cryin’ out loud, you know I loved him.

    There’s a girl in my office who’s in her early 20s who stalks him every time he comes within a 100 mile radius. I guess he’s big enough to be her Beatles.

  21. On October 9, 2007 at 8:26 pm Captain Smack Said:

    Yes! Ellen Foley. Thank you.

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