If you’re a regular reader you know, this blog has been carrying on a torrid week-long affair with fans of Texas blues-rockers ZZ Top. We hit some dizzying heights together. I was swept off my feet by the hundreds of daily hits from people looking for “zz top”, “ZZ Top”, “ZZ ToP” and “zz tops”. And I dare say they found our oh-so-clever musings intoxicating. At least they must have found something intoxicating, as they clearly weren’t sober.
Anyway, that’s all over now. I knew yesterday, but I wasn’t saying anything. It was still too fresh, and there was still a chance they’d come to their senses and admit they’d made a big mistake. But now I’m pretty sure it’s over and I have to get this off my chest.
What happened? I wish I knew. Things were still going hot and heavy Friday, with 150-odd Top-related hits. I was even thinking of selling my house and moving to Houston. Then Monday rolls around and just like that, they’re gone. Zero hits. I thought it was weird when they showed up out of nowhere, offering no explanation, but things were so great I didn’t want to ask questions. So I shouldn’t have been surprised when they left the same way, but I just never saw it coming.
OK, I hear you talking:
“Anandamide got dumped”
“It was probably that Led Zeppelin epic, so obscure and pedantic”
“You gotta entertain people like that or they won’t stick around”
I’m telling you it wasn’t like that. It wasn’t a one-sided break up, it was totally mutual. Maybe they were afraid of making a commitment to the site, but it wasn’t like it was all hot rods and fuzzy guitars on my end. I couldn’t stand the way they’d leave their beer cans lying around everywhere, burping and listening to Edgar Winter all night long. And you want to talk about being emotionally unavailable ? They’d come any time they wanted and never say anything. I mean, I’m as manly as the next man but I have feelings. Needs. If you cut me, I bleed. So I wasn’t going to sit around, giving away the best years of my life on the off chance they’d drop by, only to split every time the Top made a windmill motion and pointed towards the door. I have my pride.
Don’t worry about me. I’m OK with it. I’m in a good place. A strong place. What’s in the bag? Ice cream, OK? No, I’m not going on an eating binge in my room, I just like ice cream. Now it’s best if you leave, I have stuff to get done.
Are you trying to open up an ice cream dialog?
This is terrible. I wish I could be there for you at this difficult time but I’m typing this from a Dairy Queen and I won’t be home anytime soon.
“It was probably that Led Zeppelin epic, so obscure and pedantic.”
HA! It was so brilliant, the Bonham-less three are getting back together. Shove that up your ZZ Tops!
Evil Genius: What are you saying? You think my ass is getting fat?
Dale and Beth: You guys are true friends to stick by me at a time like this. Gasp. Sob… Turn your eyes away, I don’t want anyone to see me like this….
Dale, I’m almost out of ice cream, pick me up a box of Dilly Bars.
Beth, don’t worry, I’ll be posting a conclusion to the epic. Those bearded brutes aren’t going to shut me down !!!
I doubt ZZ Top dumped you – they don’t seem the type. My guess is Google stepped in and tried breaking you up. It happens to Samantha Brown and I from time to time.
And now, since I just mentioned Samantha Brown on your blog, your Samantha Brown-related traffic will shoot up.
It’s probably for the best. Time to move on, I guess. I hear Journey is available.
I believe your faux-pas may lie in your age….you have made no mention of their debut album ‘Rio Grande Mud” or any of the songs from their groundbreaking album “Tres Hombres” with tunes like ‘Master of Sparks” that you just have to have lived to dig…
For Old fogeys like me, “the Top” sold out after “Fandango”…. talented though they still are!
Saw ‘em labor Day 1974 with Joe Cocker, Bad Company and Santana….as I recall, Mr Jimmy page made an appearance as well!
Hah! Us Texans were all the same! Have to open our mouths before we put our b-b-boots in! Of course ZZ’s First album would be they’re debut…
I got here from Uf and I got there from Charm School, by and by.
Grant: Thanks for trying to make me feel better, but what did I ever do to this “Google” person to make them hate me so?
What about “Samantha Brown nude”, would that get me some hits? I’m on the rebound here…
Hillman: I’m totally open to Journey, but without Steve Perry they’re kind of damaged goods. Although I guess I’m in no position to be choosy….
Steve: Welcome aboard. Actually I prefer old Top as well, but that era isn’t nearly as humorous as the Eliminator/Afterburner era.
I feel the same way every time my stats go down and I realize it’s because people aren’t currently interested in learning more about Paris Hilton’s pussy. You wanna share a Blizzard with me?
OB: gladly…although as a tip, is there really anything left to know about Paris’ pussy that we don’t already know?
Le pussy d’Paris tient beaucoup de secrets!
They probably ran off to another blog that was serving free barbecue and Lone Star.
Those fickle bitches. Sure, I was at first drawn to your blog by the pics of grizzly ZZToplicious beards, but I stayed for the pics of grizzly afros. Now give me some of that ice cream!
Bubs: Where is that blog? I’d dump me for them as well.
Prunella: It is strange how a clean-shaven individual like myself features so many photos of outlandish hairstyles, isn’t it?
As for the ice cream, grab a seat, there’s still some leftover Dilly Bars that Dale brought over
My favorite thing about ZZ Top is that they appeared in Back to the Future. Even if you wouldn’t have picked up on them by the appearance of their beards (plus the one guy’s nonbeard–what’s up with that?), you could not have missed their patented guitar dance.
My second favorite thing about ZZ Top is that one guy that doesn’t have a beard, what’s his deal?
My third favorite thing about ZZ Top is their guitar dance, it’s so cute!