The Bong Remains the Same (Chapter 1: Sticks of Thunder)

“Daddy, can you tell me a story? Not the stupid one about the curious monkey again, OK?”

“Ha, Ha. Alright then son, maybe you’re ready for a different type of story. Let me tell you of something that happened to me years ago, in days of old when magic filled the air.”

******

My adventure began most innocently one summer morning as I was out for a walk. I had the good fortune of sighting a most rare species of butterfly, the high brown fritillary. I followed this exquisite creature deeper and deeper into a nearby forest. Immersed in my pursuit, I scarcely noticed how time had passed when suddenly, I realized the sun had set and I was lost in the forest. Just as I was beginning to panic, I heard a bustle in the hedgerow. I hid behind a nearby tree. Suddenly from the tree emerged a creature no taller than my waist, with long ears, a white beard and the look of one who had lived through many years of toil.

“Don’t be alarmed now” said he “I am the Rover, and I come in peace, seeking your help”. I thought of running but instead, I felt strangely drawn to answer his call.

“At your service sir” said I, “tell me the nature of the problem”.

“As I had hoped” said the creature “you are a brave and noble man. Little do you know, however, that these lands have been taken by evil forces. Before long all life in these lush valleys will die: see already how these apples turn from brown to black. The dark lord rides in force tonight. But there are four men of supernatural power who, if united can bring the balance back. And a new day will dawn for those who stand long, and the forests will echo with laughter.”

I had no idea what he was talking about, but felt compelled to act on his words. “Tell me sir, what must I do to unite these four powerful men?”

“The first man you must recruit is Sir John, keeper of the sticks of thunder” said the Rover. “He lives in the castle whose spires rise beyond yonder wood”. I walked stealthily towards the spire and found Sir John in his castle, where he was feasting lustily upon roast boar and drinking ale from a mighty stein. I told him of our plight and he agreed in an instant to join the crusade. “I will throw down my plow and hoe, and rest not to lock my home. This disgrace upon our fair nation must be removed” said he. His words, which appeared to make no sense, stirred some strange fire in me, and I longed for our adventure to begin.

“Before we embark, you must join my feast” said Sir John. I agreed and a mighty stein of ale was placed before me, along with a whole leg of roasted boar. As he drank he was filled with courage and began to tell tales of rape and pillage from previous tours. I tried in vain to keep pace with his consumption, but when I next gained consciousness, it was morning and it seemed I had fallen over in my chair and was covered from the waist down in some strange liquid. Sir John was still sitting in his chair, filling yet another stein with ale. I noted that the floor was covered in shattered dishes and shards of broken furniture, as if some ferocious beast had destroyed the room in a fury.

“How are you, good sir?”, said Sir John, still seemingly full of spirits.

“My head is humming and it won’t go” said I.

“The piper is calling you to join him” said Sir John. What strange men these were, thought I.

“Arise, we must go!!” Sir John shouted “Servants, we will need horses !!! Prepare Zildjan and Moby Dick for the journey”. He picked up a large drum and his two mighty sticks of oak and began to beat on the drum in preparation for battle. The thunderous sound of his drum shook the castle wall and caused all of the creatures of the forest to quake with fear. They also made my head throb with pain as I mounted my majestic steed. Sir John mounted his horse, which was equipped with an ample barrel of mead. He poured himself a large cupful for fortification.

“Father of the four winds, fill our sails !!!” said the Rover and we set off on our journey.

to be continued…..